Fri October 7:  Service Details

On Saturday, October 15, there will be a Celebration of the Lives of Mary and Willa Henderson at the First Parish in Wayland, 225 Boston Post Road, on the corner of Rtes. 20 and 27 in Wayland. The celebration will begin at 3:00 PM, followed by a reception at the church. The celebration will also be available via Zoom at: https://uuma.zoom.us/j/95315596701 .

Parking. Parking at the church itself is limited, and is reserved for those requiring handicap assistance. Parking for this event is available in the lot for the Trinitarian Congregational Church directly across the street (Rte. 27), or in the Town Offices lot just behind the Congregational Church (via the access road off of Rte. 27 just South of Rte. 20 – the first right after you turn onto Rte. 27).

RSVP. In an effort to estimate the size of this gathering so that the church can set up appropriately, it would be helpful if those of you who plan to attend would send a brief RSVP – indicating the number of persons in your party – to Viola Morse at vhmorse17@gmail.com .

IMPORTANT NOTE TO ALL SINGERS. One of the proposed pieces of music – I’ll Be Seeing You – has been dropped from the program in favor of another finishing piece (by a recording) that seems to better reflect Mary’s upbeat and energetic persona. As a result, the call time for the pre-event choir rehearsal has been changed from 12:30 to 1:00 PM. at the church. My sincere apologies to all who have spent rehearsal or personal time preparing I’ll Be Seeing You.

In Lieu of Flowers. Wayne is suggesting that donations be made in Mary or Willa’s name in lieu of flowers. (See the message below for details.)

Please also be reminded:

Hotel rooms for out-of-town guests have been set aside at the Hilton Garden Inn Waltham, 450 Totten Pond Road, Waltham, MA 02451, (781) 890-0100
(reference: https://www.hilton.com/en/book/reservation/deeplink/?ctyhocn=BOSWAGI&groupCode=HEND&arrivaldate=2022-10-14&departuredate=2022-10-16&cid=OM,WW,HILTONLINK,EN,DirectLink&fromId=HILTONLINKDIRECT)

As there will not be an “open mike” period at the event or reception, you are invited to post any remembrances of Mary or Willa, or other well-wishes, to our blog-meister, David Siktberg, at david.siktberg@webility.md . These will be available shortly on the website.

The church’s masking policy is based on the Middlesex County COVID risk level. Check https://www.uuwayland.org/covid-information  for the current risk level, which will determine whether masks may be recommended, or required

Tue September 27:  Donations in Lieu of Flowers

Wayne suggests that in lieu of flowers, donations in the memory of Mary or Willa be made to any of the following:

Hibiscus Children’s Center, in Jensen Beach, FL, an organization that helps abused or neglected children. Mary helped with their fundraising from local businesses, and had volunteered to co-chair their annual Gala event this December.  https://hibiscuschildrenscenter.org/

The Learning Alliance, in Vero Beach, FL, whose focus is on helping to improve literacy among 2d and 3d graders in under-privileged communities. This past year Mary was a volunteer reading tutor at the Dodgertown Elementary School in Vero Beach.  https://www.thelearningalliance.org/

Project Heal, in Brooklyn, NY, or the National Alliance for Eating Disorders in W. Palm Beach, FL, both of which help people struggling with many of the same sorts of difficulties and issues that Willa confronted.  https://www.theprojectheal.org/

Mon September 26:  Singer Sign-Up Link

Singer friends who want to participate in the memorial service choir should sign up online at the link below so that logistics can be handled.  Rehearsal is at 12:30 before the 3 PM service.  Other details are on the signup page:
https://www.signupgenius.com/go/8050b4daba823a64-oct1 

Sat September 13:  Hotel arrangements for travelers to the memorial service on October 15

For any out-of-towners considering coming for the memorial service on 10/15, we’ve arranged for a (fairly) nearby hotel to set aside a block of rooms at a somewhat discounted rate. The hotel is the Hilton Garden Inn, at 450 Totten Pond Road, Waltham, which is about 15-20 minutes from the church (the First Parish UU Church, 50 Cochituate Road, Wayland -- at the juncture of Rtes. 20 and 27). The two room options are one with 2 queen beds at $179/night (usually $229), or one with one king bed at $169 (usually $219).

PLEASE NOTE, these rates are good for only two nights, Friday/Saturday 10/14 and 15, and must be reserved not later than Wednesday, 10/5.

The reservation link is at Book your room for Henderson Memorial room block.

If you have any trouble with that link, or the block of rooms set aside has already been exhausted, please let me know, as we may be able to negotiate more if need be.

W

Sat September 3:  Life Stories of Mary and Willa from Wayne

Wayne sent this note today to accompany the two life story documents linked below - thank you so much Wayne!

I’ve never much cared for the word “obituary,” partly because of the finality of it, and partly because it suggests that you can summarize a life in a few paragraphs of narrative. But I’ve been told that others may wish for a bit more of an understanding of the lives of the two we’ve lost, even recognizing that it hardly “captures” who they were and how they’ve impacted so many others. So with that caveat, and with apologies to them both for the inadequacies of it, attached are brief life histories of Mary and Willa.

W

Mary life story.pdf    Willa life story.pdf

Sat August 27:  SAVE THE DATE

A service in celebration of the lives of Mary and Willa will be held on Saturday October 15 at 3 PM at First Parish - Unitarian in Wayland.  A Zoom session will be run for those unable to attend (very sadly that includes Jennifer and me), and a recording will be made as well.  A significant choral music component is planned!  Details are being formulated now - stay tuned.

Fri August 12:  Wayne stopped by for a chat and a home-baked cherry pie earlier this week. It was really good to see him in the flesh! Here is his update sent shortly thereafter.

What to say when there’s little to be said? Not much change in my physical condition since the last update. I’m doing PT outpatient twice a week, and in-house (most of) the other days. The chest injuries are taking longer to heal than I would have thought -- still pretty achy and uncomfortable throughout the ribcage and back. Am certainly still a ways away from swinging a golf club. But I’ll get there.

As to life in the more general sense, I’ve been making an effort to re-connect with the outside world a bit. Have been out of my cave for dinner with friends a small handful of times, and am heading out to Tanglewood this weekend to meet up with some longtime great and good friends and hit a couple of concerts: Yo-Yo Ma and the Elgar Cello Concerto, a particular favorite, and another nice program with the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto and Ravel’s Mother Goose. That should help re-charge the batteries.

I’ve also had the pleasure – painful though it was – of sitting down with several of Willa’s very close friends, with heart-to-heart conversations and wonderful remembrances. As some of you may know, Willa had gone through considerable difficulties during much of the middle period of her life, and I’m so grateful to her friends -- especially including Rob, her birth-father, and his entire family -- for helping her find such happiness over the last two years.

And I’m trying to focus on plans for a nice celebration-of-life party for both Mary and Willa this Fall. I’m hopeful it can be scheduled for one of the Saturdays in October at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Wayland, which we used to attend (sporadically) when we lived around the corner. Details are yet to be worked out, but I’ll provide them here as they become settled. I do hope and intend that music and singing – the strong and enduring connective tissue between many of us on this blog – will be an important part of the celebration, and Holly Krafka, director of the New World Chorale, has been greatly helpful to me on that score (as it were). Again, details to follow.

I can’t end without a special statement of thanks and appreciation directed particularly to David Siktberg – another key member of our singing community – for having created and maintained this blog. I’ve had a bunch of people tell me how grateful they are that there’s been such an informed and non-intrusive way to keep tabs on how things are going. David immediately recognized the need and stepped up to fill it. Major props to him.

I hope you all are, and stay, safe and well. W

Mon July 11: [Received from Wayne on Saturday.]

[Note: Wayne is ready for a few visitors, but please arrange in advance and plan on short visits.]

I’m now back in Sudbury as of a couple of weeks ago. The trip – a red-eye from Denver – was more of an effort than I had thought it would be, but, in any event, now done. Physical condition is, I’d say, marginally improved. They’ve said all along that with these fractures and internal injuries not to expect too much until somewhere around the 8+ weeks point, which is still a couple of weeks off. I’ve met with my PCP and she wants to keep a close eye on a couple of the internal issues, so . . . more tests – another CT scan, an MRI, a few more follow-up visits, yada, yada. She’s also said that, even though these are principally broken bone issues, outpatient PT is still worth doing, so I’ll start that next week0

The emotional part of it is, of course, far and away the hardest part. It seems to hit in waves, nothing I can really control. Haven’t accomplished much since I’ve been back – very little energy, motivation, concentration. Subject to that, I suppose I’m open to a little bit of actual face-time if you happen to be in the neighborhood and so inclined. Just give me something of a heads-up call, make sure I’m conscious, dressed, and around – a long-shot trifecta some days.

And again, more and everlasting thanks to you all for your support and concern in all forms – care packages, cards, well-wishes, general good vibes. Don’t know where I’d be without you. And I know Mary and Willa feel the same.

Tue June 21:

Received this from Wayne earlier today. Bottom line – it’s slow going, but he’s making steady progress and will be heading back to Sudbury at the end of this week.  Hurray!  NOTE: he needs / asks for privacy while he makes the profound adjustment to these huge life changes, so please don’t drop by uninvited for the foreseeable future.  We’ll announce here when he’s ready for some visits, probably slowly at first, and with some ground rules / coordination yet to be devised.  Stay tuned.  He also is starting to think about how to honor Mary and Willa, and as a start asks that you send any special photos you have of them.  More in a few days.

Subject: TW3 (remember that show?)

Little bit of an update:

First bit of good news is that I’m no longer COVID-positive. Tested negative as of a couple of days ago. Everyone else in the household remains negative, as well.

Next bit: Progress is frustratingly slow, but progress nonetheless. PT/OT in-house, still a lot of general aches and pains, trouble finding any sort of comfortable sleep position, low-to-none energy level after even the most miniscule activity. But still and all, am persuaded that I’m headed in the right direction. Had what’s intended to be my final CT scan the other day, set to see the doc about that this afternoon.

And the next: Have decided it’s time for me to head back to MA, start dealing with stuff. Plan is to be back in Sudbury by about mid-day this Friday, 6/24. Having said that, however, I’m thinking I’ll want to pretty much lie low for at least a little while, try out being a cave-dweller, maybe just keep the door locked and the lights out, I dunno. That’s all by way of saying my sociability quotient – never particularly high to begin with, as Mary always provided more than enough for the both of us -- is probably at an all-time low. So it may be a little bit before I’m ready for public consumption.

But I’m also told by my great and good friend, Viola, that some folks will appreciate at least a brief chance to stop by, say hi, maybe try a real hands-on hug in place of the virtual ones I’ve been receiving from you all these past weeks. So, between us, we’ll figure out a day, probably late next week, and a modest few hours’ window of opportunity for that to happen, as you wish.

And also along those lines, I’ve begun thinking of some sort of appropriate celebration of life occasion/party for Mary and Willa. Not at all sure exactly what, when, or where yet, but it will, at the least, include some music, food, and drink – the staples of our lives – and hopefully many fond and loving memories. At this point I’m guessing I won’t quite get that together until perhaps sometime in September, but I’ll keep you all advised as it comes into a little better focus. In the meanwhile, if any of you happens to have a favorite picture of Mary or Willa you’d like to see included, by all means send it along.

You’ve all been so caring, loving, and supportive through all this. I could not possibly be dealing with this without you. Thank you all.

XX,
W

Mon June 13:  [from Kip]

We've been getting some gift boxes lately, which are lovely and much appreciated, but they often come without a note that tells who they're from. If you've sent something to us and haven't received a personal response, please know that we have very much appreciated and made good use of them.  Thank you very much.  Kip

Sun June 12:  [from Kip]

Wayne is in his element - cooking up a meal for us tonight. He's doing great - sleeping, eating and feeling better! PT scheduled to start tomorrow - still has some follow-up testing, but should be able to travel in a couple of weeks. We've loved having him here - just wish it were different circumstances.

   (click to enlarge)

Fri June 10:  [received this directly from Wayne in the afternoon]

Little bit of an update, straight from the horse’s mouth: 

Was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday back to brother Kip’s, grateful finally (I hope) to be rid of IV’s, hospital gowns, middle-of-the-night pokes and prods, and COVID-related visiting restrictions.  Feeling much better now on the collection of various meds they have me on.  Unfortunately, however, did another home COVID test this AM and am still the only one in the household testing positive.  Not sure where that’s going.  Hopefully, just residual and still headed in the right direction.

I’m due to start in-home PT/OT on Sunday, gradually progress to out-patient, hope to be cleared for travel back to MA within a couple of weeks, though my brothers think I’m being a bit overly aggressive on that score.  We’ll see.  I’m anxious to get back there, though also dreading it.  Lotta demons to confront.  Might as well be sooner as later.

And last but far from least.  I can’t possibly find the words to tell you all how much it has helped me and meant to me to have your many messages of love and support.  I know a ton of folks have been helping Matt and Tanja in various ways behind the scenes, or offering and standing ready to.  You are all in my thoughts.  You  are all the best.  My thanks – and Mary’s and Willa’s, too.

 XX,

W

Sun June 5:  [from Kip]

Wayne has been progressing steadily since his arrival in Denver last Wednesday. However, yesterday (Saturday) he woke with a fever and cough and had not slept well the night before. After checking other possibilities, we decided to administer a home COVID test, and it came out Positive, twice. (Scott, Kay and I also tested and all are Negative.)

We took him to the nearest local satellite hospital, who ran tests and administered medications before ultimately transferring him by ambulance (at 1AM) to the Medical Center of Aurora hospital. They are treating him for COVID, as well as running even more tests on him. Through it all, Wayne continues to retain his stoic demeanor and great sense of humor. Scott is by his side daily and tirelessly, and with his extensive medical background (as a 20-year paramedic), he is an excellent advocate for Wayne's health care needs.

We've received many cards in the mail, and also those that were sent to him at San Francisco General Hospital. They are all still unopened, but I'm sure he will get to them when he returns from the hospital. Please know that every one is special to him, and he thanks you all for your loving and caring support.

Fri June 3:  [from Scott]

I just got home 45’ or so ago from Kip/Kay’s where the 4 of us enjoyed a light dinner and a crazy movie (“The Gentlemen” with McConaughey). Wayne’s moving a bit better and with slightly less pain. He’s about ready to ditch the walker - he doesn’t like using it one bit. He winces badly, though, when he coughs. We’re watching him carefully - no temp, BP good and HR wnl. It is just so exhausting for him to do much of anything with so many injuries and so early on in the recovery (oh, and we’re at altitude). That’s why it’s good that friends don’t call just yet, and that they understand he will only be up to responding to emails sporadically for now.

Happy to say his sense of humor is in fine form, totally intact and it sure looks like he will be stronger sooner than one would expect. That guy’s determination and inner strength is extraordinary - and we’re just very grateful for that. It is clear that his friends reaching out and sending good wishes is warming him and making him more comfortable - we can see that little smile as he reads them - so, many thanks to all.

Wed June 1:

Scott TXTed these photos of Wayne leaving the hospital in mid-afternoon and waiting at SFO for his flight to Denver.  They were able to get Wayne a seat in first class close to the front so minimal movement (painful!) was involved.  Scott also said Wayne practiced sitting for 2.5 hours on Tuesday to make sure he could handle the flight.

      (click to enlarge)

[from Kip at the end of the evening]

Brother Scott, who has been taking excellent care of Wayne during his stay at San Francisco General Hospital for the past 10 days, escorted Wayne back to Denver this evening. We've fixed up our guest room with a hospital bed and lift chair, in anticipation of Wayne's stay here for as long as he wants. He's settled in now and appears to be resting comfortably.

In all honesty, I think it's absolutely amazing how he's managed through this terrible trauma. I've always had the highest respect and admiration for him, but in this past week he's shown a remarkable determination and resiliency that even I didn't know he had. His body is battered and beaten, with lots of deep purple bruises, but he doesn't complain, and from time to time even tries to find some humor in his situation. He's an amazing guy.

We'll start trying to schedule him for some Occupational and Physical Therapy tomorrow, and maybe, if he's up to it, start some short walks in the neighborhood. He's back on his iPad so, depending on his energy level, may be able to converse via email; but he still tires easily so may not respond to all inquiries.

All for now. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers on his behalf. We believe that the positive energy really helps.

Mon May 30 evening: [from Scott]

Happy to say Trauma Team has approved discharge for Wed. 6/1/22 as we hoped. We should arrive in Denver around 7:40 pm local.

Mon May 30:  [from Wayne's younger brother Scott]

Am with Wayne and pleased to report good progress. Physical Therapy was working with him when I walked in. He was able to get himself to the side of the bed and stand up to the walker without assistance although he was pretty dizzy for a couple of minutes. Did several tours around the room and would have kept going had the PT not asked him to sit in the chair. We had lunch and his appetite is slowly returning.

His physician should be coming by within an hour. We want to talk about possible discharge Wednesday afternoon with targeting a 4:00-ish flight back to Denver. Kip and Kay returned to Denver on Saturday to begin prepping their main floor guest room with appropriate gear. Matt and Tanja caught the red-eye back Boston last night and landed about 7:00 am local.

Wayne’s progress is really good, but he just has so many orthopedic injuries that movement without discomfort is impossible and it is simply going to take 6 weeks or so for the many fractures to heal. Consequently, it will be a very gradual reduction in pain and gradual improvement in ranges of motion.

We’ll let you all know more as we can.

Sat May 28:  Wayne on Thursday insisting on taking a second walk - determination and grit on display!

Sat May 28:  [from Wayne's older brother Kip]

All - I'm very sorry for not writing sooner but we're finally getting things organized here and I'm able to take time to compose some thoughts and to get people updated. I know many of you have been wondering about Wayne and again, I apologize for not writing sooner, but please know that he is doing well, considering all that he's been through. We've met with numerous doctors and nurses, police officers and detectives and eyewitnesses, even people who were at the scene, saw the accident happen and tried to administer to them, and the fact that Wayne survived the accident without more serious injuries is remarkable. When the three of them were hit by the impacted vehicle, Wayne was thrown over 15 feet into the air, landing hard on the sidewalk. He has no recollection of the accident - he says it was like a lightning bolt - when he woke up he was in the hospital.

Poor Mary and Willa were not so lucky (if I can even use that description in this situation), and I really prefer not to go into any more detail about them. Our hearts are totally broken at the loss of those two beautiful souls, we are all grieving deeply, and the one small consolation is that it happened so quickly that they didn't suffer.

So, regarding Wayne's condition: He was struck primarily on the right side of his body, so he has a number of fractured ribs, a sizable abrasion on his right forehead, a black eye, and a fractured right shoulder. (This is in Layman's terms - Scott can give you the precise medical terminology if you prefer.) His entire body is covered with deep purple bruises and it hurts him to use his right arm, to cough or to laugh. But he is now considered "clinically stable" and no surgeries are necessary, which is just absolutely amazing given the brutal impact that he suffered in the accident.

The accident occured on Sunday; Kay, Scott and I flew out here on Monday, but we couldn't get in to see Wayne until Tuesday (the hospital has INCREDIBLY strict and limited visitation rules!). Matt (son) and his fiance (Tanja) flew in on Tuesday, and the five of us have spent the week either with Wayne or doing the many things that need attention as a result of the accident. When we first saw him, he was still in the ICU undergoing extensive testing in order to determine the full extent of his injuries. He wasn't able to eat and could only sip some liquids. Every move he made hurt him someplace. However, by Wednesday the doctors had completed their exams and determined that he doesn't need surgery and basically just needs time to heal, so they moved him out of ICU, an excellent development. When we were there yesterday (Thursday), he was even able to get to his feet and, with the help of a walker, take a number of steps around the room. The doctors are very encouraged with his progress, and it's obvious that the entire staff is impressed with his grit and determination. The other facet of our concern, of course, is for the emotional impact of the event, which will probably take some time yet to assess.

As of now, we think there's a strong possibility that he may be released from the hospital early next week, since no surgeries or further testing are required. So, our tentative plans (Kay's and mine) are to fly back to Denver tomorrow and organize our guest room area for Wayne. Scott will stay here in San Francisco helping Wayne until he is released. Then the two of them will fly back to Denver, and Wayne will stay with us at our house until he feels well enough to make the trip back to Boston.

We have constructed a make-shift memorial at the site (pictures attached) and last night there was a small ceremony with some local speakers and news media. People have been incredibly kind and compassionate to us, especially at the hotel where we are staying (The Clancy) and at the restaurant where the accident occured (The Grove). I know that many of Wayne and Mary's friends have been involved and instrumental in this and, although we don't know their names, hopefully they will know how extremely grateful we are for helping to make a terrible tragedy a little less painful.

In closing, a friend of Wayne's will be managing a blog that will provide accurate information regarding his continuing progress. It will be best to refer to this source rather than the media, as we have already found some significant discrepancies in their reporting. The address of the blog is www.hr70.org/Wayne

Please forward this information on to anyone who you think might want it. Wayne and Mary have an extensive network of caring, loving friends and I don't really have any way to contact them. And please continue to keep those positive, prayerful, healing thoughts coming. They are definitely helping all of us.

With Love, Kip

Fri May 27:  Wayne reported to Mike Spence in a phone call that he has no memory of the event - just like a flash of lightning.

Thu May 26:  Public vigil held on-site for Mary and Willa by advocates for improved street safety:

https://www.sfgate.com/news/bayarea/article/Pedestrian-Advocates-Holding-Vigil-At-Site-Of-17201373.php

Photos of Scott, Matt and Tanja, Kay and Kip at the vigil site: (click thumbnails to view full size photos)

             In Memoriam sheet

Thu May 26:  from Scott Henderson:  Thursday 5/26/22 showed really good progress. Wayne was able (with assistance) to stand and actually take several steps toward the all-important restroom, turn around and walk back to his bed and do yet a “second lap” - Yes, the “lap” was short (about 12 feet), but he did it twice! His physical therapist was happy with the first but, Wayne being Wayne, wanted to do it again - and did!  While that may seem modest, it was actually a marked improvement given how badly battered he is and the amount of energy it required. Nearly every part of him is injured, bruised and very painful. But Wayne is Wayne - he doesn’t like limits and it showed his natural “colors”. I’d show you some photos (especially from his backside with a hospital gown) but his strict instructions were to not publish. Seriously, Wayne is badly injured but his resolve is amazing and his improvement is remarkable.

We hope and believe that he will be discharged from the hospital in the next several days (by that, we’re guessing by Monday or Tuesday.) We plan to bring him to Denver to continue his rehabilitation for a bit - which will take some time before we think he can complete his trek back to Sudbury.  Matt would like to accompany him back to Denver and stay with him if work will allow. Importantly, know Wayne is his usual self which is astonishing given the brutal impact he miraculously survived. He remains clinically stable and no surgeries appear needed. The emotional toll, however, is clearly and undoubtedly awful - yet he still finds it natural to tease Kip and that shows us his usual humor is  intact and helpful in such an incredibly difficult time.

Wed May 25:  Wayne’s condition is slowly improving and he was moved from the ICU to the floor on Wednesday afternoon, 5/25.

Tues May 24:  Matt reports Wayne is aware of his surroundings and also of the fates of Mary and Willa.

Media Reports

The accident was major news in San Francisco and was carried on TV and in other media. Below are some links.

Know that some of the media reporting is not entirely accurate. For example, one reported Wayne sustained a “severe head injury”. He did sustain a significant head injury with a small intracranial bleed, but it has not, and is not expected to, require intervention. His sensorium is clear and he is awake and oriented. [comment from 5/25]

https://abc7news.com/sf-crash-mission-street-person-hit-by-car-yerba-buena-center/11883437/

https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/police-activity-in-san-francisco-3/2898055/

https://www.ktvu.com/news/san-francisco-taxi-cab-crash-kills-2-pedestrians

https://www.americanpost.news/taxi-driver-hits-pedestrians-leaving-two-women-dead-and-a-man-injured-in-san-francisco/

Mon May 23: 

Wayne, Mary, and Willa were in a tragic accident on Sunday afternoon May 22, 2022 in San Francisco at about 4:30 PM.  While standing at a corner on Mission Street a collision in the roadway sent a taxi careening onto the sidewalk, running into the three.  Mary and Willa did not survive.  Wayne incurred serious injuries, with numerous fractures to bones in the upper body and some head trauma.

Wayne was taken to Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital, the major trauma hospital for the city, and was immediately placed in the ICU.  His condition was listed as stable and he is expected to pull through, but he has much healing ahead.

His two brothers and sister-in-law arrived to assist on Monday, and his son Matt and fiance Tanja arrived Tuesday.  Numerous friends are also helping, including his longest / closest friends from the Whiffenpoofs and the Bakers Dozen.

Periodic updates will be posted here.